Unbecoming
by 2shy the Shippy
Summary: Neither one of them were being their usual selves tonight. One acted out of regret and guilt and the other knew it had to be done if only to help. Because they both knew that in the end, they had each other's back no matter what.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Mentalist...enough said, right?

"Jane...do you want to talk now?" Lisbon asked as she handed Jane a cup of tea. She was worried about him, more so than usual. Tonight he just showed up at her door and his clothes were soaked from the rain. Although Lisbon didn't have anything for him to change in, she tried to find something. All her clothes were obviously too small for him and she didn't have any clothing left over from one of her ex's, but she found this out after she made him take a shower. So, now Jane sat on her couch half-naked and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Boy, wouldn't she be having some vivid dreams tonight!

For a while, they sat in silence; it was neither companionable nor awkward, it just was. Lisbon wanted to find a way to comfort him--to make him feel better even though she didn't know what was wrong. It was just hard when he didn't say anything. And when he didn't say anything, her thoughts wandered. Occasionally, her eyes would drink in the sight of Jane's naked body; his skin looked so smooth and firm. She wondered what it was liked to be held by him. Jane may not be muscular or even close to it, but she knows that he knows how to hold a woman. Lisbon could bet he was a fantastic lover, come on, he knew how to read people. He had to be able to read their desires as well...but, did that mean that he had read hers?

Lisbon felt guilty for thinking of Jane like that especially concerning recent developments. He needed her and she was busy thinking about him being inside her.

"When Red John died, I thought I would be happy, instead I feel terrible." Jane admitted. His elbows was resting on his knees and his face was in his hands. Every once in a while, he would run a hand through his golden locks.

Lisbon sat next to Jane and put a hand on his shoulder. An involuntary blush spreaded across her cheeks like wildfire. Damn, why did she blush so easily? It wasn't like she hadn't seen a naked man before, but then again, past said naked men were naked for "pleasurable reasons" and not because they were without clothing. Also, she was willing to admit to herself that, perhaps, one day their relationship would move to a more physical level. Another blush made itself apparent; she had never admitted that much to herself. Lisbon would only entertain the idea while having a fantasy or pleasuring herself while thinking of...him. But, never just because.

"Jane, sometimes we don't feel the way we thought we would, but..." Jane cut her off.

"That lady didn't have to die. She was an innocent bystander and I was too blinded by my revenge that I didn't think to prevent it. I'm glad that Red John is dead, but not at the expense of another life." Jane tried desperately to prevent tears from falling down his face, but it was proven to be useless. "My wife and daughter didn't have to die. It was my fault."

"Jane, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was!" Jane abruptly stood up and began to pace. "You know that I hate mentalist who are better than me and my wife was, I just didn't know it. Some guy showed up one day claiming that my daughter wasn't biologically my daughter and he wanted to do a DNA test. At first, I thought he was lying, until I actually read him and he was dead serious. So, I confronted my wife about it and she admitted to having a brief affair with him, but ended it very shortly after it began. She assured me that our daughter was biologically mine--she did a test herself, but I wasn't convinced and made her redo it. Sure enough, I was my daughter's biological father, but the damage was done, you know. She cheated and there wasn't any erasing that. One day, I decided that her apologies weren't enough anymore and slept with a close friend of hers. Things got ugly between us soon after she found out and we were on a verge of a divorce, but I realized that I didn't want to lose her and we both made our mistakes. So, we sat down and talked--really talked. Things weren't perfect, but it was on its way to getting better. In light of my renewed marriage, I started to get more big-headed than usual. If I was thinking, I wouldn't have said those things to Red John, but I wasn't, so I did."

Lisbon didn't know what to say; she was speechless for one. Jane has never been revealing about himself and he just has told her so much in five minutes. Jane was afraid of Lisbon thought of him now; it didn't sound like he would do such things, but he did and he knew to never do it again. Most people didn't realize he wasn't perfect and even though Lisbon knew this, there were still things that would shock her and most people.

"I thought that if I caught Red John and made him pay that it would reverse what I did, not worsen it."

"Jane, there was no way you could have known." Jane crossed his arms and looked at the floor. Lisbon got up, walked in front of Jane, and made him look at her. "There was no way you could have known...Pa--Patrick."

Jane looked at Lisbon with such intensity, that she had to look away. 'Get it together, Teresa', Lisbon mumbled to herself. She turned back to Jane and put her arms around him. Even though it wasn't something she normally did, Lisbon would give up comfortability in order to make Jane feel better. He needed her, that was way he came to her door; even if he wouldn't admit it himself.

"It's alright to cry, Patrick; everyone hurts, not just you." Lisbon would try to be understanding because he needed her to be.

Jane fell before her on his knees, and then grabbed her waist. He began to cry heart-wrecking sobs as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, and Lisbon lowered herself down so she could hold him.

~*~*~*~*~

It was weird how things turned out. Here she was on the floor caressing Jane's curling blond hair as he laid contently on her stomach. Neither one of them were sleep, but they were both emotionally drained. Jane was through crying hours ago, but he didn't want to leave; no, he felt like he was home again for the first time in years.

Lisbon felt numb. Why? She didn't have a clue, but she still felt that way nevertheless.

"Teresa?" Jane lifted his head off her stomach to look at Lisbon.

"Yeah, Patrick?" Lisbon lifted her head off the floor to look at Jane.

Jane propped himself up on his hands and crawled towards Lisbon before gently kissing her. Lisbon hesitated before returning the gesture. They hesitantly took turns kissing one another like two inexperienced teenagers before settling into a groove. Once that was established, they pulled at one another frantically; Jane passionately grabbing Lisbon's face to deepen to kiss and Lisbon grabbing the back of Jane's head to pull him closer.

Lisbon pushed him away. "No, we can't do this." She got up off of the floor and straightened her clothes.

"Do what?" Jane got up and stood in front of her.

"This!" She pointed a him, and then herself. "It's insane; I'm not about to have pity sex with you."

"But, you do want to?" Jane raised an eyebrow.

"No, and even if I did, it wouldn't this way."

"Wow, you were actually convincing for once, Lisbon." Jane stepped closer to her, invading her personal space. "And I wouldn't call it pity sex, but comfort sex since we would be comforting one another." He gently kissed her lips. "I need you, Teresa, and only you can help me."

"You're only using me for sex. If we had sex you would be thinking of your wife."

"No, no, I wouldn't. I would be thinking of the lovely woman who would be helping me out in my time of need." And he was telling the truth.

Jane grabbed Lisbon hand and kissed it softly; his lips felt so moist. Lisbon wasn't a mentalist like Jane, but she could see he wasn't lying. Reluctantly, she led him into her bedroom. It wasn't because of what just occurred between them or because of what tomorrow might bring, but because tonight...tonight he would learn all her deepest most intimate thoughts about him, and she would experience them.

THE END

A/N: I've been trying to write a story for days and though this seems OOC, it was the best that I could do. I haven't seen that many episodes and I do planning on getting better and I having a better grip on the characters personalities, but I wanted to try this out and put something out there.


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